Theme
11:29pm September 30, 2014
nannersammich asked: Today a guy came in and ordered a venti nonfat mocha. This guy comes in probably once a week and I recognized his face but I have a lot of customers, so I didn't remember his name for the cup. He rolled his eyes and said it (this isn't his real name): "DAY. VID. Maybe eventually you'll remember it. " I covered up my name tag and said "okay, what's MY name?" He was silent for a second then said "uh...well now I feel like a jackass." That's right motherfucker, the world doesn't revolve around you.
11:28pm September 30, 2014
-imaginarythoughts-:

this-one-laydi:

look at seth rogan’s face it just screams”I have been chosen”

He looks like a hero

-imaginarythoughts-:

this-one-laydi:

look at seth rogan’s face it just screams”I have been chosen”

He looks like a hero

11:26pm September 30, 2014

tranxious:

If the idea that “they is plural” ever bothers you, just imagine that there’s several of me and we’re all screaming at you to use my correct fucking pronouns

11:26pm September 30, 2014
blockchiken:

vanguard-of-courage:

blockchiken:

vinny-licious:

blockchiken:

alora-witch:

reeses-peixes:

prettyflyforaredspy:

raceagainstelegance:

suyedah:

a wallet that will never be stolen from your purse

omg

omfg

oh

that’s fucking brilliant

how, by putting a dollar in gift wrap?

"gift wrap"

i don’t get it

it’s not gift wrap

then what is it?

blockchiken:

vanguard-of-courage:

blockchiken:

vinny-licious:

blockchiken:

alora-witch:

reeses-peixes:

prettyflyforaredspy:

raceagainstelegance:

suyedah:

a wallet that will never be stolen from your purse

omg

omfg

oh

that’s fucking brilliant

how, by putting a dollar in gift wrap?

"gift wrap"

i don’t get it

it’s not gift wrap

then what is it?

9:37am September 30, 2014

qirlunderyou:

i’m going in for a refill 

9:16am September 30, 2014

crowcrow:

meduusalammikko:

Finally: GLITTER HAIR. It’s super sparkly irl. It feels like ages since I last did rhinestone brows.

(Please do ignore the face I’m making in the second pic.)

ummmm excuse you <3_____<3

9:15am September 30, 2014

chickem:

lysolwipes:

just cry to make it look like you didnt sexually harass multiple girls

9:11am September 30, 2014
  • me: -bounces leg-
  • classmate: did you know when you bounce your leg like that, it means your anxious or something
  • me: yeah?
  • classmate: you're like always boucing your leg
  • me: im literally always anxious
9:10am September 30, 2014

jizzkin:

straight people on tv show: *literally have sex*

*silence*

gay people on tv show: *exist*

ok.. :\ but… ok like im not homophobic… :\ im ok with gay people but why do you have to shove it in my face… :\

9:09am September 30, 2014
a-group-of-children:

DO YOU REMEMBER

a-group-of-children:

DO YOU REMEMBER

9:09am September 30, 2014
9:08am September 30, 2014

altonym:

Beer honestly just tastes how I imagine urine to taste it is so rank and people are always like nah try this because this is special Beer and then it’s like oh ok urine with cinnamon in it great

9:05am September 30, 2014
cartoonpolitics:

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." .. (attributed to Margaret Atwood)

cartoonpolitics:

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." .. (attributed to Margaret Atwood)

9:05am September 30, 2014
cyborg-superman:

monalisasvagina:

JungleJim4322@yahoo.com in proper beach attire

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT THIS WAS THAT CREEPY ASS LEATHER DUDE FROM AHS AND I ALMOST SHRIEKED LIKE WHAT THEY MADE A PHOTOSET FOR AN EVIL MERMAID SHINY SHITFACE

cyborg-superman:

monalisasvagina:

JungleJim4322@yahoo.com in proper beach attire

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT THIS WAS THAT CREEPY ASS LEATHER DUDE FROM AHS AND I ALMOST SHRIEKED LIKE WHAT THEY MADE A PHOTOSET FOR AN EVIL MERMAID SHINY SHITFACE

8:58am September 30, 2014

beautyloveandsociety:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

Being an adult is realizing that $5,000 is a lot of money to owe and very little money to own.

this hurt.